Can You Hear Me Now?

There are a lot of counselors out there that specialize in one certain population like grief, depression, marital problems etc. As my partner and I are trying to grow our practice, we are more of a “jack of all trades” type counseling office. I see a variety of different people of all ages. I meet with people struggling with many different areas of life on a daily basis. Tonight I saw a handful of people right in a row and their concerns and goals for counseling were as different as night and day. Except for one thing….they just want to be heard. They want to have time for themselves to get off their chests whatever they want and not worry about anything else. People tell me all the time that they appreciate having the time to talk and I always stress to a new client that for that hour, it is THEIR time and no one else’s.

Isn’t that really what we all want out of life? We just want to be listened to, not just heard, but really listened to. There are so many times that when we engage in a conversation with someone that we are not truly listening to what the other person is saying, but rather, we are already formulating in our mind what is going to come out of our mouths and that might have nothing at all to do with the other person was trying to say. In relationships, what happens when a person doesn’t feel heard over and over again? A spouse might turn those feelings into anger and resentment, a teenager might isolate, an adolescent might act out to try to get attention in another way, an employee might just stop working and the list could go on and on.

It’s not an easy change at all to take the time to really listen to the people in your life and truly hear what they are saying. But if you start listening to what the people close to you are saying, positive things can come of this. Satisfaction in life can improve, as can your outlook on many different things. Your child might actually respond to you in a more positive way (notice I said “might”, kids are still interesting little beings that might never be completely understood :0) or your spouse might treat you a little differently, or your employee might increase their productivity. But if you are dealing with an issue that needs some better direction and unconditional regard, consider seeing someone about it. Get what you need from a professional and in turn, you might start getting those needs met from the people in your life as well.