It All Began With The Toilet Seat...

When I first started this blog (I know, not that long ago) a family member of mine was joking when he suggested a good topic to be “Why does the toilet seat play a role in 98% of divorces”? At first, I laughed along, but the more I thought about it, it’s a good topic for here actually, so thanks for the suggestion! I doubt that this statistic is correct, as 98% of divorces is a pretty high number to be pegged to one thing like putting the seat up or down. I did Google it to see if it had any validity and found a vast amount of links out there of people discussing this very thing.

In all seriousness though, it’s not the toilet seat we are really talking about. It’s the breakdown in communication between couples that can be a main cause of relationship problems and divorce. It can start with something as simple as not putting the toilet seat down and snowball from there. That’s the funny thing about relationships; we tend to not talk about the things that bother us because it’s sometimes easier and after too long, people get in the groove of not talking about the things that matter. A wife might get tired of asking her husband to pick up his laundry off the floor, so she stops nagging and gets more and more irritated each time she picks up another dirty sock. “What’s the point in saying anything” she thinks and continues about her day. But then this habit of not saying anything and biting her tongue becomes the norm and then she is not talking to her spouse about the bigger issues in life, like her displeasure in her job, the stress of the children, money and the list can go on and on. Our spouses need to be our biggest cheering section, sounding board and source of support. But when we shut that person out, that relationship starts to weaken. It can be common to feel like our spouse should know when we are irritated and be able to pick up on these things. But let’s be real, we are busy, things are going on everyday, it can be hard to always pick up on our partner’s cues that they need to be listened to. It is up to the person in need of an ear to speak up and then set aside that time to talk to your spouse or partner. Because if too much time goes on and nobody is talking, then what happens? The questions of where did things go wrong; what happened to our marriage etc. might soon begin.

So, I am not at all encouraging more nagging to your spouse, I think we know how that can turn out. But if there is something like the toilet seat causing a problem in your relationship, then talk about it. Make a compromise or two and go from there. Sometimes just asking your spouse what is on their mind can do amazing things, as the things we think in our heads are sometimes much worse than the reality of the situation.  

Over the years, the majority of couples I have worked with have come to see me due to an issue of communication. It can be fixed with work from both people in the relationship. If you know someone in need of some assistance, give me a call, as sometimes a third party is very beneficial in working on effective communication with the person that is most important to you!

I hope everyone is have a great start to 2011 and would love to hear other ideas for topics if you have one!!