How We Choose to Talk to Others…Food for Thought for Today

Many, many years ago, I had the great experience of living with one of my best friends. We were out of college, working full time and enjoying life. We used to talk that since we had always traveled so well together, that living together would work out just fine. Which, it did and little did we know that now that we are both married with kids, how much we would miss that little apartment and dreaming of the days of being married with kids. Guess the grass is always greener isn't it? OK  I am getting to the point here. I am now living and sharing my life with my other best friend, my husband. He truly is the one that knows me best and I know him the best out of anyone in this world.

Living with other people is not an easy thing to do at all. No matter who you are, it’s a challenge. But as I look back, I wonder why it was that when I would get irritated with my roommate, I would choose to bite my tongue a whole lot more thank I do now with my husband. For instance if the trash was overflowing in our apartment, I might first see how much more I could stuff into it before having to make the trek all the way across the parking lot to the dumpster to take it out. Sure, I was probably irritated and might grumble to myself a bit, but I would take it out, as it wasn't worth saying anything. Now when the same scenario happens at home, you better believe I am going to grumble out loud and make darn sure that the hubby knows that I’m irritated which will most likely, OK inevitably, and turn into a nice “discussion” about who does more around the house! What that argument really necessary? Nope. Now we are just ticked and it’s not going to be an easy rest of the day. Yes, we might both be a little “stubborn”.

So my question is, why in world do we treat the people we love most in the world not as kindly as the others people in our lives? And admit, I know you do it too! By biting my tongue with my roommate, it didn't cause unnecessary friction, because honestly, I know she wasn't avoiding the trash just to tick me off. And guess what, I really don’t think my hubby intentionally does the same thing just to push my buttons. Why do I take my silly little frustrations out on the person I love most in this world and chose to be nicer to others who might choose to not be part of my life tomorrow? I probably smile at complete strangers in the grocery store more than I smile at my husband some days. That’s not fair to him or our relationship.

My challenge to you, especially in this Holiday season, is that before you open your mouth to your spouse about something related to the above, ask yourself first, “Would I be saying these same words, in this tone, to anyone else in my life”? Good luck and Merry Christmas!!

Disclaimer: To my friend and past roommate; I am sure trash was never an issue, I honestly don’t remember, but using it merely as an example. The two years we lived together and those memories are sometimes what get me through the day with two little ones!!!

And to my husband, please take out the trash so we don’t have to argue about it!! :0)