To All You Dad's Out There

I am sharing the link to a blog called the Engaged Father. This is written by someone I knew way back when in high school and I thought I would take a quick minute to give him a shout out for bringing light to a subject that doesn't always get talked about. It's for all you dad's out there, who are providing for your family, raising kids and being a husband or partner. We tend to focus on mom's so much that the role of dad is sometimes a little glossed over. It's a tough job I appreciate all you dad's out there who ae working hard to be a positive role in your children's lives!!
Have a great week everyone!!

The Engaged Father  http://engagedfather.wordpress.com/

Don't Jump!!!!!!!

No, I’m not talking about jumping off that bridge! I see it everyday, we jump to quick conclusions about why people might be possibly acting the way they are, usually in a negative light. We get easily irritated and usually automatically thing people are just being rude. However, have you ever thought about other possibilities? We all put on some sort of face when we leave the house, not wanting someone to know that inside things are not going completely as normal. So I ask you to consider….

That woman who just cut you off in traffic…might be racing to the hospital to be with a loved one after a horrible phone call about an accident.

Your child who is withdrawing from you every day….might not want to burden you with the fact they are being bullied at school.

Your friend who is not returning your calls all of sudden…might be afraid you will read between the lines and realize she is being abused by her husband.

The old man in front of you at the grocery store taking a very long time counting his money…might be struggling with the early stages of Alzheimer’s and realizes that things are never going to be the same.

A friend who declined an initiation to your baby shower with no valid reason…might have just taken her 12^th negative pregnancy test this year and can’t bring herself to talk about it without breaking down uncontrollably.

The co-worker who no longer joins you at the lunch table…might be in his office researching the diagnosis of cancer his son just received and is too shocked and scared to share the news with anyone.

There are so many struggles that people face in this world that can explain behavior that we quickly assume as being rude. Let’s face it, some people can be rude for no reason. However, I encourage you to think about consider the fact that there might be something else going on. Be a friend and ask them if there is anything they want to talk about. Keeping it all in can be the biggest battle and people need to be listened to sometimes and feel some compassion.

Just Had to Share....

A friend on facebook posted this the other day and I attempted to be able to put the whole thing on the page of this blog, but can't figure out how...so here is a link that I thought I would share. As a mother of two young girls, it really hits home and gives me as an adult something to think about as well. Hope you all are having an AWESOME day!!!

http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awesome/


On a side note, I will be returning to work VERY soon and will be scheduling appointments, so if you know anyone in need, have them give me a call, phone consulatations are readily available and free! Thanks for reading!!!

Black and White

Yes it is the year 2011. Technology is everywhere to make our lives simple, quick and easy. But I have a confession….I still pay my bills by writing a check and putting it in the mail. Pretty out dated way of doing things huh? The truth is, I like writing it down and tracking everything in my checkbook. When I am forced to put it to paper, I can see where my money is going and from there make changes accordingly. If I just looked at it on the bank website, I might just glance at it and go about my day. There are definitely some perks of getting things down the old fashioned way on pen and paper.

I frequently tell people that I see the same thing. Getting things down on paper can have great results when dealing with other issues in your life as well. A teen can benefit greatly from having a journal as a private place to record thoughts that they don’t want to share with parents or friends. A recovering addict might benefit from recording how much money was spent on their habit over the course of a month or a year to see one of the benefits from staying clean. A person going through the end of a relationship can find it helpful and releasing to write a letter to the other person to get all the thoughts left hanging out and not bottled up anymore. (Although, sometimes it might be good not to send that one!) A person dealing with grief can find it helpful to write letters to the loved one that is gone and taking it to the gravesite to leave for that person as one way or working through grief.

The point is, sometimes when things are out instead of swimming around in your head can make things more clear and enable you to focus on things in a different way. I often refer these thoughts as like a sneeze you are trying to hold it, you can try and try, but it comes out in some way and the longer you try to hold it in, the more unpleasant it is when it does come out. Our emotions are the same way. We can’t keep them bottled for a long time, as they eventually come out. Of course I feel that the best way to work through things is talking about them. But on the other hand, we also know ourselves the best and getting things out on pen and paper can give you a clearer understanding on where you are and where you want to go.  

On a side note, I am currently on leave from working as I am taking maternity leave to be with my little one. I will continue to update this blog (again, hopefully more frequently) and am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. And as always, love to hear your comments etc., so let me know what you think and if you want me to write about anything in particular here!!! It’s good to be back!

You Just Have No Idea….

So here I am updating the “weekly” blog a month later…..whoops once again!! I think I need to be a better boss to myself these days! It’s been a pretty busy month for me and I am finally doing the catch up that is needed right now in many areas, including this blog. My family had to say good-bye to my grandmother this past month. She was an amazing woman and lived a very full life in her 91 years here with us.  As with any death of a loved one, the memories are sure to come and I was no different and one memory that stands out is one that I have actually been meaning to bring up on here.

Shortly after my boyfriend proposed we went to go tell my grandma the news. And by shortly after, I mean that the ring was put on my finger about two hours prior to showing up at her house.  Grandma was happy for us, but after her congratulations, she went on to say something to the tune of “I am happy for you all, but you really have no idea what you are getting into”. Really grandma, these are the words you are choosing for your newly engaged granddaughter? She went on to say how marriage is a lot of hard work and you just don’t realize it and the amount of work marriage takes until you are in the midst of married life. Granted her and grandpa were married 55 years, so she obviously knew what she was talking about.

At that time, I didn’t think much about it and enjoy retelling this story to cousins of who are at the age of getting married etc. But the more I think about it and the more I work with couples on a weekly basis, I begin to think about relationships and marriage in a new light. Does anyone actually view their relationship as “work”?  Do you respond to things your boss requests of you differently than you would when your spouse requests something of you? Do you treat your spouse with the same respect you would give a co-worker or potential client? Our spouses or significant others are supposed to be a main focus in our life and a priority, however, as normal human beings, we can forget that and it gets easy to take that person for granted when everything else gets busy or stressful. Due to the world right now, a lot of people are not in a place that they can take their job for granted and will go the extra mile needed to maintain employment. But how many of us will go that extra mile if they feel that their relationship is on the line? Or do other things get in the way and the relationship, the thing that is probably more valuable than a job in the long run, gets put on the back burner? I know that my grandparents had their ups and downs, but the importance of family and their marriage was always a priority and I believe that to some extent, they viewed it as "work".  I could go on and on and on regarding this topic, but just wanted to get my thoughts down and possibly give out some more food for thought. As always, I would love to hear comments, questions etc about this topic or anything else on here! I hope everyone is having a GREAT summer and staying cool!

Just a Quick Thought for the Day

“Rather than wishing for change, you first must be prepared to change” Catherine Pulsifer

Everyone that comes through my door wants some sort of change. Change in relationships, change in level of happiness, change in overall life satisfaction etc. Like the quote says, the very first step is getting prepared for that change. Sometimes change comes easy, sometimes it doesn’t. But you have to be prepared and ready to put the effort in to make real change in your life. Don’t wait for it to happen, don’t wait for someone else to do it for you, you have the power to make the changes you need!

I could and should go into more depth here, but thought I would just throw this out there to hopefully prompt you to start turning your own wheels if you are contemplating change. YOU know yourself the best and what is going to work best for you. And as always, if you need a little help with where to begin, give me a call, I am always here to help!!!!

And as far as the picture, it just made me laugh at myself with my own fear of technology sometimes and that sometimes change is just a little hard to adjust to for ALL of us!! Happy Tuesday everyone!!!

Date Night

Did you read those words and think you were reading a foreign language? If, so, I think it might be a good idea to keep reading! Sorry for the lapse in posts here, been a little busy around here lately, no excuse, I know!

Anyway, I wanted to write a short something about spending some time with our significant others. Sounds easy enough right? Do something as a couple and enjoy each other’s company if even for a few hours? I wish it was that easy. For those of you with children and full time jobs, carving out that time for the ones we choose to be with can feel like an almost impossible task.  Is it important for your relationship?  ABSOLUTELY!!!!

We tend to take for granted those that are closest to us, mainly our spouses or significant others. It’s a pretty nice feeling to know they are always going to be there no matter what. However, I seem to be meeting with more and more couples and individuals who can’t really recall the last time quality time was spent with their spouse. And truthfully, it’s not just professionally I am speaking about personally as well. I remember taking a class in grad school and the professor taught several nights a week and was a mother to five children. She stated at one point that she and her husband made it a point to put the kids to bed at a decent time and they sat outside together and actually talked to each other. At the time, I was planning my wedding and I thought, well, that seems like a no brainer, of course my spouse will be very high on the priority list in my life. The reality though, is that it rarely happens that I even think to put him first. A lot of our quality time is spent on the couch watching TV. Sure we are together, but only in proximity some nights.

I wish I had the magic wand to say, ok, on the first Saturday of every month, take some time out for you and your loved one and it will magically happen. The errands will be done, the babysitter will magically appear and things will be wonderful. But sadly, that’s not the case. But the importance of finding that time is GREATLY needed in any relationship. Date nights don’t have to be extravagant, they can be as easy as turning off the TV and talking. Getting out of the house even for an hour or two and do something that you used to enjoy as a couple before children came along can make you feel so much better! I encourage at least starting thinking about this and to hopefully start “scheduling” some of that time with your spouse. The benefits really do show!!