To All Those People I Know in Some Way Shape or Form

Over the years I have had a small handful of people that I know contact me about counseling and that they are looking for someone to see.  Most people say something to the effect of, I’m looking for a counselor and wondering if you could recommend someone. They usually end with, I would come to you, but that might be weird.

And yes, it would. Well, maybe weird is not the best word, but not the point. Counseling is obviously a pretty personal thing to enter into. You want someone who knows nothing about you to get the best possible treatment and help that you can get. Counselors universally will not take anyone on as a client that they know prior to entering the counseling relationship. It’s not appropriate and not going to be beneficial to the client.

My point is, I know a lot of people I know read this blog (and I GREATLY appreciate it!) But if you are on the fence of seeing someone, contact me and I would be more than happy to help out. I have plenty of other trusted counselors in this field that I regularly refer to when needed. And please be assured that anything that I do on a professional basis is just that, professional. Your contact with me is kept completely confidential and I am more than happy to help!!

Stay tuned in the near future for an amazing post about how to find a counselor that will suit your needs the best! 

Just a Quote for the Day

I came across this other day and it’s something along the lines of what I attempt to assist my clients with on a pretty regular basis. And I’m not going to lie; I am guilty of it as well…

“There are two primary choices in life; to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them”  by Denis Waitley

Face it we are all human and it’s so much easier to sometimes complain about our current situation than it is to take the time and energy to make changes. This is a topic I could go on and on about for a while, but I am going to keep it pretty short and sweet tonight.  And I am pretty sure I have touched on this topic on here before, but I believe it to be something we all need to be reminded of time to time. Change isn't always fun and not always easy, but when it comes down to it, it’s the only way your situation will change. But like the quote says, you have that choice. You are the ONLY one to make changes, don’t wait for your kids to change, your spouse, your friend, your boss, you get the idea. Either change your actions or your perspective, but it is your choice. And if you don’t make that choice, then nothing is ever going to change.

And that’s my thought for the day! I am still hoping to update this a few times a week,  and it looks like some weeks, it might be more like once a week as things are getting a little more hectic for me. As I say just about every time, I love your feedback, so feel free to leave comments or suggestions, I love to hear them! Happy Wednesday to everyone, only two more days to the weekend, hang in there!!

Another New Year is Upon Us, Happy 2013!!

So here we are with another new year upon us. Have you made a resolution? Do you make a resolution every year that lasts a whole day or maybe a week like the majority of us? Do you think resolutions are good, bad, or indifferent? Is the start of a new year really something that means something to you? I am tossed on the whole subject. I love the idea of a new start and thinking about what might transpire in the turning of a calendar page. However, it’s not always that easy.

Personally, when I look back on 2012, I feel so very fortunate. My husband pointed out that we were fortunate enough to have not attended a funeral in 2012.  We were so lucky to continue to watch our children grow, learn, make us laugh, make us crazy and also realize how our relationship with each other can be tested from time to time.

I understand that there are so many people who did not have such a great year. Funerals were attended, relationships were tested and our children surely made us just a little crazy (and that is not just the people with kids living at home, even adult children can make parents just a little crazy too). But regardless of what is going on, my resolution (and some serious fingers crossed here) is to update this blog about three times a week on the topics of grief, parenting and relationships.  I completely understand that these topics don’t pertain to everyone at the surface. But they do. I am talking about the relationships we have with anyone. I am talking about being a parent to a person of any age. Grief is not just about death; it’s also about the things in our life we don’t have that we want. For instance, the baby you might be praying for, the relationship you wish you had, the person who was close to you and you aren't speaking to anymore… the list could go on and on. Regardless, these topics affect us all and I hope you read along this year.

I can’t take away the pain you might be feeling, but I can help you through it. I would love nothing more than to have more comments on here or other messages telling me what you want to hear about, that you agree or disagree, ideas for a new post on here, or of course that you might like to make an appointment to come see me in person! I am looking forward to a great year of new things for me both professionally and personally and wish the same for all of you!! Here is to an amazing 2013!!!

Choosing My Words Part Two

Choosing My Words Part Two

Well it has been one week since that horrific tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut. My heart breaks for everyone involved and they continue to be in my prayers. I definitely have many thoughts on why this happened and how to ensure it doesn't happen again. I do believe that mental health treatment in this country needs to be strengthened and the stigmas taken away. But I might have to save that soapbox for another day. I came across this on Face Book yesterday and it just seemed fitting in regards to what I posted yesterday. The things we grumble about are not important at all, but they seem to be the things that take up our time and energy. So please, hold your kids tight, appreciate their innocence, and in all the hustle and bustle of the next few days, please try to take a step back and take it all in and enjoy every moment!!! Happy Holidays to everyone!!!!!

"Another Mother's Prayer" Dedicated to the Newtown, CT Moms

I found a pair of dirty socks on the bathroom floor,
And gave thanks for the sweaty things behind the door.
I turned them right side out and it dawned on me,
From now on, I will, through other eyes see.
For the things that used to make me mad,
Have made me grateful and strangely glad…
The door left open, and the unmade bed,
Crumbs, bad grades and the uncombed head.
The smudges of blue toothpaste in the sink,
Endless questions and uniforms that stink.
The light that’s left on, and the bike that’s left out,
Lost hairbrushes and the Monday morning pout.
Weekend-eating science projects and homework that’s late,
The peanut butter that I have to scrub off the plate…
For sleepovers, Sharpie art, and cavities too,
I will say, oh Lord Jesus, thank You!
From now on I won’t be such a grouch,
About things like muddy shoes and popcorn under the couch.
For now I see… these are blessings in disguise,
Oh God help me to always see everything through Another Mother’s eyes.
WE WILL NOT FORGET YOUR BEAUTIFUL, PRECIOUS CHILDREN!

How We Choose to Talk to Others…Food for Thought for Today

Many, many years ago, I had the great experience of living with one of my best friends. We were out of college, working full time and enjoying life. We used to talk that since we had always traveled so well together, that living together would work out just fine. Which, it did and little did we know that now that we are both married with kids, how much we would miss that little apartment and dreaming of the days of being married with kids. Guess the grass is always greener isn't it? OK  I am getting to the point here. I am now living and sharing my life with my other best friend, my husband. He truly is the one that knows me best and I know him the best out of anyone in this world.

Living with other people is not an easy thing to do at all. No matter who you are, it’s a challenge. But as I look back, I wonder why it was that when I would get irritated with my roommate, I would choose to bite my tongue a whole lot more thank I do now with my husband. For instance if the trash was overflowing in our apartment, I might first see how much more I could stuff into it before having to make the trek all the way across the parking lot to the dumpster to take it out. Sure, I was probably irritated and might grumble to myself a bit, but I would take it out, as it wasn't worth saying anything. Now when the same scenario happens at home, you better believe I am going to grumble out loud and make darn sure that the hubby knows that I’m irritated which will most likely, OK inevitably, and turn into a nice “discussion” about who does more around the house! What that argument really necessary? Nope. Now we are just ticked and it’s not going to be an easy rest of the day. Yes, we might both be a little “stubborn”.

So my question is, why in world do we treat the people we love most in the world not as kindly as the others people in our lives? And admit, I know you do it too! By biting my tongue with my roommate, it didn't cause unnecessary friction, because honestly, I know she wasn't avoiding the trash just to tick me off. And guess what, I really don’t think my hubby intentionally does the same thing just to push my buttons. Why do I take my silly little frustrations out on the person I love most in this world and chose to be nicer to others who might choose to not be part of my life tomorrow? I probably smile at complete strangers in the grocery store more than I smile at my husband some days. That’s not fair to him or our relationship.

My challenge to you, especially in this Holiday season, is that before you open your mouth to your spouse about something related to the above, ask yourself first, “Would I be saying these same words, in this tone, to anyone else in my life”? Good luck and Merry Christmas!!

Disclaimer: To my friend and past roommate; I am sure trash was never an issue, I honestly don’t remember, but using it merely as an example. The two years we lived together and those memories are sometimes what get me through the day with two little ones!!!

And to my husband, please take out the trash so we don’t have to argue about it!! :0)

This Is Just Embarrassing....

Well this is just plain embarrassing and wrong....I just realized that my last post was sadly a few months ago....so much for a weekly update from me!
Well here is to looking forward to a New Year and my greatest intentions ever of updating this at least once a week, and hopefully and I know a bit shocking, but possibly a few times a week. It's amazing what putting things in your schedule will do! I have a lot of new ideas for updates on here ad look forward to both sharing my thoughts with you and continuing to learn from everyone I come into contact with on a daily basis!

Anyway, I sincerely wish everyone a wonderful Christmas and Holiday season! Enjoy your loved ones, eat lots of good food, remember and honor those not with us this holiday and look forward to new beginnings and an amazing New Year that hopefully holds lots o hope for you!

And yes, you will be hearing from me very soon! I am excited about a new year of change!

Time for Adjustment…..

My last semester of college was a cake walk. I took three classes, worked part time and basically enjoyed the last four months of college to the fullest extent. I was fortunate enough to have a job right after graduation. I went from a pretty sweet schedule to being thrown into a job where I actually had to be productive 40 hours a week. I’m not complaining, I loved my job and worked hard at it, but DANG…after those several months of easy street, adjusting to a 40 hour work week was a pretty big deal. I’m sure I slept a little more and needed some extra down time at night until I got in the routine of it and my body adjusted to actually getting up before 10am on a daily basis!

Fast forward a few years, I now have a kindergartener on my hands. She went to preschool for two years prior, going three days a week, and learned a lot and played a lot. This summer I worked less and we played even more. We got her all ready to start school, talking about how fun it would be etc and she was truly excited to start school. The first week went well…the second week, my sweet little girl started some behaviors that were not so pleasant for all of us…We are starting week four and there is still adjustment going on. Like me, the new college grad, she is having to cope with five whole days of having to follow rules, learn, eat in a certain amount of time, do homework etc. Compared to the last five years of her life, this is one heck of a HUGE adjustment! Of course she is going to act like a little booger here and there. She is not capable of saying to me, “Mommy school is really taxing on my brain and energy level so I need to take a little break and go to bed earlier”. Nope, she just knows how to be a booger, which is how five year olds communicate all these new things she is trying to process.  But it’s made me take a step back and be patient with her adjustment and know that she will get in the swing of things and my sweet little girl should hopefully return to normal….hopefully.

Now that school has been in session for several weeks now, I urge parents to consider what all kids need to adjust to with each new school year, not just kindergarten. Getting to know new teachers, new routines, new friends and bigger demands on their brains is hard work. So I encourage you to be there for the kids, encourage them, play with them and hopefully be able to schedule in some down time for them each night. Be patient if their behaviors change just a little…it’s normal. (of course I am in NO way saying that bad behaviors be excused because of this, but to remember, there is probably a good reason they are acting they way they are and not just to make you crazy!)

I hope everyone is having a GREAT start to the school year, before we know it the teachers will be rejoicing for Christmas break I am sure!

And as always, no matter what you are facing in life and need some help, I am here! Call if you would like to make an appointment, as I am here Monday through Thursday! Call me at 636-294-5490! HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!!!!