Happy Holidays!!!

Wow, so it’s officially twelve days until Christmas. It’s getting to be that crunch time where all those last minute details and shopping trips are being taken care of and we are preparing for all the holiday festivities that will soon be taking place. I sincerely hope that everyone has an amazing holiday season surrounded by those that are most important to you. But I have one short request for all of you. As you are taking part in all the holiday celebrations and enjoying all the great things in your life please keep in mind those that may not be feeling the holiday spirit to the fullest.

Please remember and most importantly reach out to those who:

·         Might be experiencing the first Christmas since an important person in their life has passed. Send a card, give them a call, invite them to dinner, do something to let them know you are thinking of them as they are struggling to find the new normal to the holiday season.  If that person is you, do what is right for YOU! Don’t let anyone tell you what you should be thinking or feeling, this situation is new to you and YOU need to do what is best for you. Sure there is the chance that you might offend someone, but doing what is right for you is more important than pleasing others right now!

·         Struggling with another year of not being able to conceive. I wrote about this topic in a past post, and it’s not always something that everyone is aware of, as it’s a highly personal and emotional situation. Holidays can be very difficult for couples struggling with infertility. New babies might be at the celebrations, well meaning relatives might ask when they are going to add to the family etc. If you’re not sure of a couple’s situation, please keep your comments to yourself. If you are aware of their current struggles, ask them what would be helpful to get through the holidays. Sometimes all that woman needs is a good “buffer” from the aunt who can’t keep her comments to herself at the dinner table!!

·         The veteran returning from war. Returning to civilian life can be a very difficult situation. Homecomings are extremely happy times for all involved. However for those returning from war, the transition home can take a considerable amount of time to adjust to a completely different way of life. This is not a topic I want to glaze over, but I feel that all the things that can go into about this situation need to be put in a post of it’s own. The bottom line, is remember that this person might be facing a very big struggle to adjust to life back home and to be patient with them and be supportive.

·         All the people in your life going through a tough time, such as a divorce, a child who has moved away and spending their first Christmas away from home, someone who might be estranged from a family member or those that know this might be the last Christmas with a loved one. What it all boils down to is please be supportive and mindful of those that are facing new challenges this holiday season.

I do truly wish everyone the happiest of holidays and an incredible new year. But please stick this in the back of your mind as you head out for your holiday festivities, as you never know how much of an impact you do have on others and how you could make this holiday a little easier on someone you care about.

And as always, if you know someone who is really struggling and might benefit from help from a therapist, please give me a call. If I can’t assist you, I will point you in the right direction and assist you in getting the help that is needed! Merry Christmas everyone!!!

FREE COUNSELING!

Once again, I get so used to being in this field and the lingo and what I think is common knowledge that I need to remember that a lot of people might not be aware of what the heck is coming out of my mouth.  And, yes, that title was not one of those “too good to be true” sort of things! I was talking with someone with the other day about seeking counseling/therapy services in general and I suggested that person check out their employers EAP. I was soon met with a very blank look and a “what’s that”?

EAP, or Employee Assistance Program is that of which, your employer and most likely your insurance program will pay for a certain number of allotted sessions with a therapist to discuss life’s stressors that can sometimes get in the way of our time at work. Relationships issues, stress, depression, grief and anxiety are just a few things that can interfere with our day to day functioning. There is no co-pay or deductible and you go see the therapist at no cost to you. When a person accesses this service, you would call a number provided through your insurance company or Human Resources Department and most likely you will be asked a small amount of questions about what you are dealing with and then you will be allotted a certain number of sessions with a counselor. In some cases, you are assigned a counselor, in other cases, you are provided a list of possible providers and you will get to call and in a sense “interview” the counselor before making an appointment to ensure a good fit.  You are NOT speaking with a person from your company about what is going on, as EAPs are brokered out to an outside company who handles all referrals etc. Therefore, you don’t have to worry about talking to your boss about what is going on personally and that help is needed.

Employers are seeing more and more the benefit of a person being at their best in the work place. We are all human, and when something is off kilter in the personal aspect of our lives, we can’t always give one hundred percent to our work. This is an amazing benefit, to get the help that is needed to make is easier to function during the workday as well as when you get home at night!  As I stated above, you will be allotted a certain number of sessions and if you will require or want to continue to see a counselor, then be open with your counselor about where you are coming from as far as then going through insurance to cover the cost of your sessions or paying out of pocket. Whatever the case, when accessing EAP services, the information you give to a counselor in an appointment, does NOT ever go back to your employer, as everything is kept 100% confidential. (There are some cases in which confidentiality has to be broken, however and your therapist will review these things with you in your first appointment).  Also, it’s not only for the employed person. Every EAP has their own policies, but what I have found in most cases, is that family members can access this service too, if they are under the insurance of the employed person. A good resource is your human resources representative to answer questions for you or to provide you with a number to call and get the answers that you need.

Hopefully, this little post was helpful for you and maybe provides you with an avenue you haven’t thought of before. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about this or any topic, so please don’t hesitate to leave a comment here, call me at 636-294-5490 or email me at ldenisonlpc@gmail.com. And if you like what you hear on this blog, become a follower!  I really do look forward to hearing from you! Have a wonderful week everyone!

So Now, What Do You Do?

I have been in this field for quite some time now and pretty immune to all the “lingo” that goes along with my job. I sometimes forget and take for granted that others automatically know what I do. The truth is, that’s not the case. I get all kinds of phone calls on a daily basis asking exactly what I do….so here it is folks, a rundown of what you get  (or don’t get) when you see a counselor.

I DON’T prescribe medications. You need to see your MD or a psychiatrist for that. A psychiatrist is a doctor, went to med school and is a wealth of knowledge for when it comes to needed medications for things like depression and anxiety. Your regular family doctor might prescribe these medications for a short time, however they might eventually refer you to a psychiatrist for further follow up to ensure the medications are working the correct way. When you see a psychiatrist, don’t be disappointed when they don’t see you for an hour every time you are there. They don’t generally run their practice for talk therapy, but rather for medication management.

I don’t work miracles in one appointment. Some people come to me and want to know exactly what to do after that first appointment to never have to come back again. I wish it were that easy. However, when you see me for the first time, a lot of that hour is information gathering. I need to get to know why you are in my office. I need to know what you are dealing with, what has worked in the past and what hasn’t. It’s generally the second appointment that the “work” begins. I will help you set goals for yourself and for our time together, but in dealing with emotional issues, there is no quick fix. Some people only need to see me for a few weeks, others need a few months and others need to come in once a month for a year. I am going to work with you and have you come in to benefit you, I am not in the business to waste your time or mine. I truly want to help you and nothing makes me happier than when you don’t need to see me as often, as this means good things are happening!

I don’t get surprised by anything. I have seen and heard just about all of it. Don’t be ashamed to tell me anything. Honesty is the only way you are going to help yourself and if I don’t have all the pieces to the puzzle, I can’t help you reach your goals to the fullest extent. I care for all of my clients and when you are in my office, you are the focus of my complete attention. Due to the nature of my job and the things I do hear on a daily basis, I am able to check it at the door when I go home for the night. I am pretty sure just about any counselor would agree. I am not there to judge you or the actions you have taken in the past. I am human too, I have made mistakes and have my own quirks. When you are in my office, I see a person who wants to make changes and learn from those things in their past that aren’t always so pleasant. That is what I am going to focus on, how you can learn from things and where to go from here.

There might be that instance when we don’t click and that I am not the best equipped to help you. Please tell me your thoughts and we can go from there. I can refer you to someone who I think can help you better. Just like any other relationship, two people just might not click and that’s okay. Just please don’t stop coming, but again, be honest and let me help you to find the avenues that will benefit you the best!

When you walk in my office, I see you and want to help you with whatever you are dealing with. Stress, anxiety, depression, grief, relationship issues, and trauma are just a few of the things that I see on a daily basis. But how you struggle and cope with depression is different than someone else with depression. I don’t do “cookie cutter” therapy. I will focus on your strengths and help you build from there. I love nothing more than helping bring to light the positive aspects in your life and within you that you can use to get back to living a healthy and productive life! You deserve it! And if you have more questions, PLEASE don’t hesitate to call, I would be happy to speak with you further! And on that note, I answer my own phone (no office help just yet), so if you get the answering machine, please leave a message, I WILL call you back just as soon as I can in that same day.

Once again, I hope everyone is having a great week! And as always, I love to hear feedback, so leave a comment or e-mail me anytime for things you might want to see on here along with any questions or comments.  And it might just give me the push to keep to my promise of updating this once a week as initially promised!!!

To All You Dad's Out There

I am sharing the link to a blog called the Engaged Father. This is written by someone I knew way back when in high school and I thought I would take a quick minute to give him a shout out for bringing light to a subject that doesn't always get talked about. It's for all you dad's out there, who are providing for your family, raising kids and being a husband or partner. We tend to focus on mom's so much that the role of dad is sometimes a little glossed over. It's a tough job I appreciate all you dad's out there who ae working hard to be a positive role in your children's lives!!
Have a great week everyone!!

The Engaged Father  http://engagedfather.wordpress.com/

Don't Jump!!!!!!!

No, I’m not talking about jumping off that bridge! I see it everyday, we jump to quick conclusions about why people might be possibly acting the way they are, usually in a negative light. We get easily irritated and usually automatically thing people are just being rude. However, have you ever thought about other possibilities? We all put on some sort of face when we leave the house, not wanting someone to know that inside things are not going completely as normal. So I ask you to consider….

That woman who just cut you off in traffic…might be racing to the hospital to be with a loved one after a horrible phone call about an accident.

Your child who is withdrawing from you every day….might not want to burden you with the fact they are being bullied at school.

Your friend who is not returning your calls all of sudden…might be afraid you will read between the lines and realize she is being abused by her husband.

The old man in front of you at the grocery store taking a very long time counting his money…might be struggling with the early stages of Alzheimer’s and realizes that things are never going to be the same.

A friend who declined an initiation to your baby shower with no valid reason…might have just taken her 12^th negative pregnancy test this year and can’t bring herself to talk about it without breaking down uncontrollably.

The co-worker who no longer joins you at the lunch table…might be in his office researching the diagnosis of cancer his son just received and is too shocked and scared to share the news with anyone.

There are so many struggles that people face in this world that can explain behavior that we quickly assume as being rude. Let’s face it, some people can be rude for no reason. However, I encourage you to think about consider the fact that there might be something else going on. Be a friend and ask them if there is anything they want to talk about. Keeping it all in can be the biggest battle and people need to be listened to sometimes and feel some compassion.

Just Had to Share....

A friend on facebook posted this the other day and I attempted to be able to put the whole thing on the page of this blog, but can't figure out how...so here is a link that I thought I would share. As a mother of two young girls, it really hits home and gives me as an adult something to think about as well. Hope you all are having an AWESOME day!!!

http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/waking-up-full-of-awesome/


On a side note, I will be returning to work VERY soon and will be scheduling appointments, so if you know anyone in need, have them give me a call, phone consulatations are readily available and free! Thanks for reading!!!

Black and White

Yes it is the year 2011. Technology is everywhere to make our lives simple, quick and easy. But I have a confession….I still pay my bills by writing a check and putting it in the mail. Pretty out dated way of doing things huh? The truth is, I like writing it down and tracking everything in my checkbook. When I am forced to put it to paper, I can see where my money is going and from there make changes accordingly. If I just looked at it on the bank website, I might just glance at it and go about my day. There are definitely some perks of getting things down the old fashioned way on pen and paper.

I frequently tell people that I see the same thing. Getting things down on paper can have great results when dealing with other issues in your life as well. A teen can benefit greatly from having a journal as a private place to record thoughts that they don’t want to share with parents or friends. A recovering addict might benefit from recording how much money was spent on their habit over the course of a month or a year to see one of the benefits from staying clean. A person going through the end of a relationship can find it helpful and releasing to write a letter to the other person to get all the thoughts left hanging out and not bottled up anymore. (Although, sometimes it might be good not to send that one!) A person dealing with grief can find it helpful to write letters to the loved one that is gone and taking it to the gravesite to leave for that person as one way or working through grief.

The point is, sometimes when things are out instead of swimming around in your head can make things more clear and enable you to focus on things in a different way. I often refer these thoughts as like a sneeze you are trying to hold it, you can try and try, but it comes out in some way and the longer you try to hold it in, the more unpleasant it is when it does come out. Our emotions are the same way. We can’t keep them bottled for a long time, as they eventually come out. Of course I feel that the best way to work through things is talking about them. But on the other hand, we also know ourselves the best and getting things out on pen and paper can give you a clearer understanding on where you are and where you want to go.  

On a side note, I am currently on leave from working as I am taking maternity leave to be with my little one. I will continue to update this blog (again, hopefully more frequently) and am looking forward to getting back in the swing of things. And as always, love to hear your comments etc., so let me know what you think and if you want me to write about anything in particular here!!! It’s good to be back!